jmoiron.net

Really.. what is there to say? I'm saddened by the loss of someone that I had fun with. I'm not going to blow anything out of proportion or anything: He definitely wasn't the greatest guy I ever met, and he wasn't my best friend for any period of time. By the same token, he wasn't merely an acquaintance; I knew him well enough, and saw him with a frequency that I think warrants my level of shock and sadness.

The last time I saw Jared was thursday. It's a freightning thing; to think about the cold reality of the situation. I was talking to him; in the hall, on thursday; unbeknownst to me that it was an activity that I would never be able to repeat again. Never. This isn't like, once in a million years, or some intangible ammount of mega-time, this isn't a really long time, like 80 years, where I could make play at the improbability of my life lasting that long.. its never. Even if I live until the sun blows out, after an innumerable ammount of rocks crash into our small blue one, the last time I saw him will still be this thursday. And it fucking sucks.

I wasn't always happy with him, I didn't always greet his presence with open arms or enthusiasm.. sometimes he was annoying. But thats cool, because he was a person. I played him in super smash bro's (and won a lot), he helped me out with his gamers club Stevens dealing knowledge so that I could get the anime club off the ground. It's just not right, you know? I don't wish this on my enemies, I'm not about to hide the fact that I consider it a tradgedy that this happened to one of my friends. In my life, the microcosm of everything that happens in my brain, I left his room victorious, after staring at the same screen and reacting with jerks and motions much like he did. That same microcosm is still going on now, recording the memory of me writing this in my little console window who's fake transparency grates my nerves; slapping me in the face with false promises of true alpha blending. But his microcosm, one that shared some space with mine not too long ago, is gone. I'll always remember the four words that marked this departure; although earnest, still just a fucking slogan. "Damn, feel better man."

After this, I'm not going to mention this again on the site. Death is a part of life, and we have to move on.

And so, because I am rather pitiful (as in, deserving of pity due to poorness of resources; my capacity for giving or as this case shows, my ability to decide upon something to give), I offer these hopefully well crafted words as both a rememberance and tribute to a life whose presence will remain in my memories...

Rest In Peace, Jared McLaren; 1982-2002