jmoiron.net

This title is kind of inappropriate for the content matter, but what's new. It's the title of a meloncholy song in the low fi indie tradition by a japanese rock band called the pillows. It bears no direct relevance to anything, and if you can't read it you aren't missing anything. But it's a fantastic song, sung from the heart with feeling, the way they all aught to be; it's the kind of song that makes me thankful that music was thought up by someone at some point. There's plenty others, but as I listen to this one on repeat, they slip my mind.

The importance is that sometimes you're somewhat forced by outside events to take a look at everything and just soak it in, because it's all fleeting. I can't really call him a friend, but a guy who I knew growing up, a guy I played footy with on the same team for 8 years, died yesterday. I think he had cancer. He was a sharp guy, quiet and kind.

I can't really sugar coat things, even in situations like this. Anthony (his name) was a prep (or associated with that clique) with what should have been a nice and high stress high reward life awaiting him. He was laid back and just popular enough to be cool but not so popular anyone would resent him. For the life of me I can only think of good things to say about him; level headed, intelligent, athletic, with a level headed, intelligent, athletic girlfriend. I don't really know where that ended up, but like I said I didn't really pay attention my senior year of High School, let alone the 7 years that have gone by since then.

And he just got cancer and died, just like that. If I knew him, instead of just .. being in a state of having known him, it'd be some kinda personal tragedy. I'm sure it's hitting that sorry motley community of people from Sleepy Hollow that still hear about news from town pretty hard; it's a swift kick in the nuts to any notion of Karma or fairness and a simultaneous reminder of your own mortality. That's kind of a lot for one day, a big disruption from that routine night time calculation of sleep allottment vs. tiredness quotient for the work day.

There's more there than just your own personal reaction, of course; someone has died, and this has obviously affected them the most out of everyone. Being in this kind of detatched position, though, what I think about are the things he can't enjoy anymore, the things I wouldn't be able to enjoy anymore if I had his poor fortune: my grandmothers pasteis de bacalhao, coding late at night, world travel, and this fantastic song. Rest in peace, Tony.